OOM: Particles and Pop Tarts

[bugsandslime]

The wood particles that had been recovered from the skull of Zach's John-Doe were pressed pine, chief ingredient of cheap furniture everywhere. Not a lot of help in and of itself. But the chemical markers pointed to a particular limited family of wood treatment that the EPA had gotten banned in the early 1980s. Potentially more helpful.

Hodgins props his feet up on the table, tilting back quasi-precariously in his chair, as he reviews the report in its entirety. In the lab around him, various machines are emitting comfortingly familiar hums, beeps, and whirs. And in one instance, a loud 'clink' as a pair of strawberry pop tarts spring up out of a toaster's slots.

Hodgins had bought the Pop Tarts to replace the ones he'd stolen from Zach. But....well, he'd gotten hungry. He'll stop at the grocery store and pick up more tomorrow.

Comments

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

Zach strides in, holding his cup of coffee precariously in front of him as if it is a wild animal. He stops in front of the table and carefully places the mug in front of Hodgins before straightening and taking a breath.

"Can you think of any reason why someone would be tampering with the Jeffersonian's coffee supply?"

He looks grumpy, but hopeful that Hodgins can provide an explanation.

[bugsandslime]

Hodgins looks ever so slightly guilty over being caught sneaking the Pop Tarts. Again. Fortunately Zach does not seem to have noticed. Hodgins peers into the cup of coffee.

It looks like coffee to him.

He looks quizzically up at Zach.

"Define tampering," he says.

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

"I believe Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law defines tampering as altering or interfering with an object, such as coffee, or person in an unauthorized or improper manner. I believe adding hallucinogenic drugs or undermining the content of the beans so that they present such an affect would be considered an act of tampering."

Zach takes a deep breath after this information splurge, then stops. "You said you would ask permission next time. You signed a contract."

He sounds somewhat hurt.

[bugsandslime]

"Mother, may I?" Hodgins asks, offering the other Pop Tart. "Relax. I'll pay you back with interest."

"And dude, what are you talking about? Hallucinogenic drugs? Caffeine and a sugar buzz don't equal an acid trip--not even in the break room coffee."

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

"I could sue you," Zach says, grumpily enjoying this train of thought, "for all you're worth. And then when you were a poor scientist who lived above my garage I could steal your poptarts and make snarky remarks."

He sighs and takes the profferred poptart (a peace offering, and some part of his mind registers the ironic fact that it is his own poptart being used as such), wincing slightly at its heat.

"I am not suggesting they are very strong hallucinogenic drugs. But I have never suffered signs of mental illness and I have not experimented with any illegal substances that might cause hallucinations."

He takes a confident munch from his poptart, and tries to hide his wince at the hot filling.

[bugsandslime]

Even if Hodgins didn't know Zach was just blowing smoke, he wouldn't be especially concerned by the threat of legal action.

"Trust me, you do not want to try to take on my family's lawyers. They truly are scum sucking."

And Hodgins would know. Being a slime expert and all.

"What, you think the government is feeding federal employees drugs via office coffee?"

His tone is not quite as scoffing as another persons might be. It would be an ingenious plan. Look how much coffee they went through just at the Jeffersonian.

But more to the point...

"You're hallucinating?"

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

"I did not say the government," he says, a bit irritated. "It could be some criminal group we have angered in the past, such as Dr. Brennan and the mob."

Then there's a pause, and he thinks, before continuing in a softer, more introverted, analytical tone.

"The aberrant sensory information I have experienced are consistent with a hallucination encompassing all five senses."

[bugsandslime]

"Okay dude. Paranoia is my thing, remember?"

Hodgins is aiming for light, but he can't help but look a little worried.

"And I warned you about that orange powder stuff that they market as cheese. Nothing in nature is that color."

Although it's also possible that the dissertation has just made Zach's brain short out or something.

What did your doctor say?"

He narrows his eyes in a You have mentioned this to your doctor, right? look.

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

He makes a face at that, and says defensively: "His smile reminds me of a particularly vicious wolverine."

That would be no, I haven't.

[bugsandslime]

Hodgins rolls his eyes, but lets that slide. For now.

He will keep a close watch on Zach though. Hell, someone has to keep an eye on the kid.

"Well, if you are hallucinating and not, you know, receiving random bursts of static from your mother ship, it's not coming from the coffee. I've been drinking it, and I'm perfectly normal."

Of course, for Hodgins, 'normal' is a relative term.

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

...if Hodgins doesn't think it's a conspiracy, some observant part of his mind notes, then the probability that it is one is quickly approaching nil.

Zach doesn't hallucinate, ever. He daydreams, yes--often, and with vengeance--but even when he had fever dreams when he was small they were mostly logical. He would ask Dr. Brennan, and he will if symptoms continue, but he doesn't want her to think he can't handle the pressure of being a real forensic anthropologist.

"Is it your advice that I should?" Zach asks Hodgins, feeling small. If it is not, he will double check with Angela.

[bugsandslime]

Hodgins looks mildly exasperated.

"If you're actually hallucinating, then yeah Zach. That's pretty much a big flashing neon Seek Medical Help sign."

He gives Zach a close look. "You don't look or sound like you've lost it, though. And you don't look sick. Are you sure you're actually hallucinating?"

[zach-and-cheese.livejournal.com]

There was always the chance that it had been a rip in the space-time continuum, as he had noted previously. But it seemed a very deliberate sort of rip, without strange lights or the wobbly science-fiction music, and it hadn't been there later.

Zach just gives Hodgins a vaguely grumpy look. He is not absolutely certain that he is absolutely certain.

"Have you analyzed the wood particles?" He asks, after a moment.

[bugsandslime]

Hodgins stares at him for a moment. But it seems the subject has been changed.

He shrugs and hands over the report.

"Pressed pine bits. Pretty common and nothing exciting in and of themselves. But the chemical cocktail used to treat the wood was limited in use to furniture factories in Ohio, Illinois, and Indiana. I'm still trying to see if I can narrow it down any further than that."

If Zach actually is sick or losing his (giant bag) of marbles, they'll figure it out sooner rather than later. Most likely it's just Zach being Zach.

In the meantime, there is a case to be solved.